I'm a loser, I know.
Current mood: tired
Category: Blogging

...but I seriously can't keep up.

I'm just too busy with the new job, and barely have time on myspace.  I can barely keep up with one profile, let alone, TWO.

I'm totally so sorry to be such a pain in the ass.  I really thank you guys for dealing with my drama.  I can only imagine how annoying it is. *LOL*

Anyway, I'm going to keep this profile, but I'm going to use it for something else now... I'm going to attempt to keep it as a group profile (I moderate a large group on here and hope I can switch to this profile to be the moderator so I can get someone else to help me moderate so I can keep up with the group.)

Again, sorry to be a pain in the ass.  I just don't have time for what I wanted to do with this profile.

That being said, I'm going to continue blogging on my original profile.  I just might have to keep posting some of the blogs "preferred list".

Thanks guys

Love, your favorite pain in the ass ;)

7:29 PM - 9 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

Dating blunders
Current mood: tired
Category: Romance and Relationships

I came across a top ten list of first date blunders, and thought I would share.


1. Answering your cell phone.

No shit? I thought it made me look important!


2. Boasting and showing off

Telling me about how you throw the most off-the-hook parties and about how you just bought a new Ford Mustang wont impress me. Im not into popularity contests, and Im not into status and/or how much money you make so I definitely agree.


3. Being rude to waiters and service people

When someone is rude on a first date, *especially* to waiters/etc., it makes them look like a pompous asshole. I cant stand people who think they are better than others. Not too mention, I used to be a waitress, and I made damn good money.


4. Assuming youre entitled to sex after buying dinner

So, if I buy a guy dinner or treat him to a movie, he doesnt owe me a piece of ass afterwards? Who made up THAT rule? Damn them to hell!


5. Rushing the date

I have to admit Im guilty of this, but only when I knew there was just absolutely no connection and/or I wasnt attracted to the guy. Ive made up a couple of excuses during my days. But Ive been on dates where there is more eating going on then talking, like it was the guys first meal in weeks. That is *definitely* unattractive.


6. Having bad table manners

I thought it was obvious that slurping up your spaghetti like a two year old, or burping the alphabet at a restaurant on a first date was a no-no, but I guess some people still need to be told


7. Gushing about how much you like her

Nothing reeks desperation like someone going on and on about how they think you are their soul mate on the first date.


8. Badmouthing exes

Yeah, calling your ex a cum-guzzling whore is probably not good


9. Being cheap

Im down for saving money, but its probably not a good first date idea to throw down your two-for-one coupon or take her to Dennys. And, I dont know about the rest of you, but I *always* try and check out how much the bill is and how much of a tip the guy leaves. Thats a definite indicator of cheapness. I mean, how cheap can you be to not add another $3.00 onto the tip? Thats one of my pet peeves.


10. Judging everything she says

Anyone whos read most of my blogs *knows* I *hate* judgemental people. So I can completely feel this one. And first dates are a time to talk about your lives a little and your views on certain things. First impressions are important, but dont assume that you know their type before hearing more behind the views.

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8:55 PM - 6 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

How much does sexual history matter?
Current mood: tired
Category: Romance and Relationships

Ive heard answers to this question from every end of the spectrum.

Here are two from guys that answered the question to Cosmo magazine:

Heck yes. Just like our ancestors, the apes, we're hairy animals and we like to "mark our territory."

But as we get older (and stay single longer), we get more realistic about it: we realize that most women haven't stayed locked up their whole lives waiting for the "one." Plus, a woman's "extra" experience often means she's a real tiger in the bedroom. Rrrrrrrrrroar!

If you have a history of one-night stands, we might ask ourself whether this is the kind of girl we want to be with long-term.

Besides, men find it gross that other penises have been in that area.

Personally, in my opinion, it doesnt really matter to me. I actually tend to prefer a guy thats had at least a few sexual partners. This is simply because I feel that experience = a good thing. And if a guy has had at least a few sexual partners, I think hes more likely to know what he wants, not too mention hes more likely to be able please me.

Now, Im not saying that I want someone thats hooked up with a hundred women. Technically, Im really not sure if there is some magic number that Id draw the line at. However, I really dont judge guys on the number of women theyve slept with. I just personally dont think its really right to do that, for a few reasons.

First of all, because Im no angel myself. Im not giving out a number, and Im not saying that Ive whored around, but Im not innocent. I will say that I didnt even lose my virginity until I was 18 yrs old. But I grew up in a pretty strict house. So when after I turned 18 yrs old, and after my fiancé and I had moved out to Michigan and then broke up, I met a girl through the job I had that introduced me to the party lifestyle. It was all about drinking, partying, bars, and guys.

I dont regret anything that I did. I think its important to experience all these things while you are young, otherwise you might be married in your late twenties, early thirties and feel the need to go out and be crazy. So Im glad I got it all out of my system.

Ive kinda gotten off track

Secondly, like one of the guys quotes said above, as we get older its likely that the people we meet will have had more sexual partners. Seeing that Im going on 29 in a few weeks, and that most people have lost their virginity by 18 yrs old (giving the benefit of the doubt here) thats over 10 years.

If youve had sex you know that thats a long ass time to go without. Im just sayin

My point is, how big a part does a persons sexual history play?

Its been a long time since a guy actually asked me how many men Ive slept with.

And to be honest, I think the last guy I asked that question to was to my (ex) husband six years ago. Because, in all honesty, as long as they have a clean bill of health, it really doesnt matter to me.

If theyve had 50 sexual partners does that make me count any less? Not in my opinion. (Unless they are just trying to score and thats usually pretty obvious.) I feel that you have to take each case individually. A guy may have had 50 sexual partners before he met me, but whose to say that hes a player or a man whore just because of that number? People cant change? (You all know I HATE being judged, so I try my best not to put that on others)

Plus, people can be pretty free with their sexuality at one time, and then meet the right person and not feel the need for that anymore.

So anyway, Im curious to see how others feel. Ive heard so many different answers to this question. I know it varies a lot on how religious you are, and your background and all that.

Does it matter to you how many sexual partners a person has had?

Do you judge them on it?

And how many of you think that there is a double standard when it comes to men and womens sexual pasts?

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8:47 PM - 6 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

How much things change...
Current mood: tired
Category: Life

Originally written on:

July 2nd, 2006

Growing up, I had a *great* family life. I mean, there were a few issues that I had to deal with (my mom bailed on my sister and I when I was 4 1/2 yrs old, and my sister was 6 mos. old) but for the most part, I had a good life. My dad re-married when I was still very young, and my step-mom, though we had plenty of arguments and disagreements growing up, was more of a mother to my sister and I than my mom. My dad is one of five kids, and his side of the family was always very close. When I was younger, everyones lives revolved around the family. Our holidays were so much fun, and everyone was always so happy and cheerful. I remember that pretty much every weekend, everyone in the family would get together, and the adults would be sitting around playing board games or cards, and the kids would all be running around having fun. It was a rare weekend that there wasnt some type of get together...

The kids have all grown up now, and all have families and/or kids of their own. Four out of five of my dads siblings are now divorced or will be divorced soon, with the exception of my dad (him and my step-mom are going on 25 years). And now, even one of my cousins is getting divorced (albeit after 12 yrs of marriage.) 
 

I remember looking at our family when I was young and thinking how perfect and how awesome it was to have a big family. But a few years ago is when I really started noticing just how much things have really changed. This has been very hard for me to deal with, because family was always such a huge portion of my life. There was a time when I really believed that nothing would ever come in between any of us. Obviously, I was way off.

Grown up eyes see things so much differently. It totally amazes me. Now, I see all the drama. I see all the shit talking behind one anothers backs; I see the imperfections in all the marriages and it truly saddens me, because my family was always the thing that I believed was always on my side. Now days, I dont even know who to trust anymore.

After I turned 18, I moved out to Michigan (where my mom was living) with my boyfriend at the time, and my family wasnt happy about it. See, growing up, my parents were kind of strict. So when I turned 18 all I wanted to do was go out and party, and do whatever the fuck I wanted which was basically just to experience all the things I never got to in high school. Obviously, it couldnt last forever, and I moved home after almost 3 years. There were a few things about those 3 years that really messed with my head, and when I returned I was a different person. And, not a good one. My family noticed all the changes, and a few of them decided they really didnt want anything to do with me, which, looking back is understandable. I suffered depression after I had my daughter, and ended up on medication because of panic attacks. There were a few people in my life that were there for me, at times, (my parents the whole time) but otherwise I battled it on my own. I have come a long way, and am still working on changes things about myself. Although I know Im still not perfect, Im really fucking proud of the progress that I have made. 

But what pisses me off is that Ive been to hell and back trying to change myself, and, again, with the exception of a few people, most of my family doesnt give me any fucking credit for it. Its like at one point they just fucking wrote me off, never to look back. Those same people sit back and judge every move I make now. Not only do I hate the fact that they feel they are in a place to judge me and my life, but they dont know the whole story, which pisses me off even more. They just get bits and pieces and assume the worst.

Ive kind of gone off on a tangent, but my point is that growing up, my family was the one constant thing that I could count on. I knew that any one of them would be there for me no matter what. Im really sad to say that now, that is not the case. I have spent the past year trying to repair some of the mistakes I have made in my relationships with certain family members, but I really wonder if anything will ever change. In all honesty, besides my parents (and I even have my doubts about them sometimes) there is really only a few people that I believe love me unconditionally and whom I really can trust.

That honestly breaks my heart, but Im at the point where Im so sick of hearing the shit that certain family members say behind my back that Im ready to tell them all to *fuck off*. 

Seriously!... Who fucking needs family like that? 
 

Im a strong believer in the saying Friends are family you create for yourself because we have no choice as to who our family members are (other than our spouses, of course.)

So, what do you guys think? Do you agree? Have you had the same experiences, and/or do share the same views?

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8:41 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Think you know me?
Current mood: happy
Category: Friends

I'm reposting some older stuff, stuff that I wrote when I barely had any subscribers.  I love this one because it's ME.

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I find it very fucking funny that people actually *think* they really know me, that they *think* they have me all figured out.

As many times as I tell people not to judge me, they do anyways. WTF? 

I don't pretend or act like I totally know someone.  Yes, I may know the side of them they show me (such as online) however, there are alot of *FAKE* people out there... which is why it takes me awhile to actually trust people.  I'm not going to hold my past against you, but I've learned my lesson not to give people *all of me* until I get to know them better.

There's ALOT that most of you don't know about me.  *ALOT*.  So don't judge me off of what you *think* you know, because like the saying goes...

"You think you know me?  You have NO FUCKING IDEA."

Get to know me before you fucking judge me.

And for all you fake ass people out there? Fuck off.  I don't need you... in any way/shape/form.  I'm not into people who *pretend* to be my friend, or *pretend* to be someone they aren't.  I have *many* faults; I'm far from perfect.  I'm the first fucking one to admit that.  So don't think that by throwing stones you are going to hurt me, because you won't.  I don't give a fuck what you think about me.  If I did, I wouldn't voice my opinion so much.  I would just kiss everyone's ass like you do.  But I don't.  Because I fucking despise fake ass people like you.

That being said, I'm pretty much an open book.  I have nothing to hide.  But in order to know me, you have to ask questions, and get to know me.  Don't judge my complete character off of myspace.  Once you get to know me well, you will see the real me.  Of course I have my own insecurities, but for the most part I am pretty fucking confident in myself, and that confidence grows more each and every day.  Once you get to know me well, you will see that. 

And if you think otherwise, you can suck a fat one.  I am who I am, and damn proud of it because I know deep down within myself that I am a *good* person.  And because I don't need *ANYONE'S* fucking approval.  Including yours.

Take it or leave it.

Currently listening : Till the Sun Turns Black By Ray LaMontagne Release date: 29 August, 2006

8:33 PM - 11 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment