12:04 AM - The Coming Revolution for Bands on Myspace
Current mood: rockin

Recently, I was clicking around the new myspace interface, perusing the new "friend update" option where I can stalk my friends every move on this site without them knowing. Nice to see I can subscribe to or unsubscribe from anyone on my friends list I want and specify not only what info I'm given about them when I log in, but also set what I want shared with others about my own activities on myspace.

Then one option/feature hit me like a ton a bricks. Okay, this is huge.

Go to your Friend Updates section and click on "edit subscriptions". The location varies depending on your homepage layout of choice - what can I say, I keep mine and the ones I manage as the old style - so it's on the right. No point in confusing anyone with a new IU to learn until forced to (now ain't I just a peach?). I believe it's in the center of the new one.

Click on the "Preferences" tab and you'll find "Update me when my friends:" with a list of stuff of what your friends do here that you likely don't care about knowing. If this is your first time here, you'll see everything checked by default and likely are being notified of the activities of everyone in your top friends. Personally, I don't care if you post in a forum or join a group. OK - getting notified when a friend adds an "app" might be fun mocking time to enlighten them about how the app will send out bulletins on their behalf as well as emails and comments to all friends foolish enough not to have their settings preventing such drivel.

So I've had my settings pretty limited since this whole "friend update subscription" thing started. If you've subscribed to me, you'll see when I post a new photo but I don't particularly want you to know when I come up with a new snarky remark for my profile. Then change it. Or decide to spend a day playing with different backgrounds, ending up exactly how it's been for almost 3 years. You also won't be notified when I post a technical question in the myspace help forums or toss my two cents into a debate on my high school forum. Because you shouldn't care.

So back to the "Preferences" page and no, you don't want to know whenever a friend changes their profile song - continuing down the list and unchecking those that will likely be more annoying than anything else. But the heart races when you come to the third to the last box - a new one - Add a Show in My Area (Bands)** with a link.

As frightening as those asterisks are, I couldn't click on the "My Area" link fast enough.

Up pops a box that asks how far you're willing to travel for your music and whatever zip code you're traveling from. No. Freakin'. Way. Do you have any idea what this means**? For marketing band tours on myspace?

**minus the asterisks, which scare me. They're like the little voice in your head on a first date that makes you wonder if maybe that birthmark by his eye really used to be a teardrop tattoo from when he did hard time and "fixed" when he got out. While you're trying to think of a reason to stop at a 7-11 or all night pharmacy to see under fluorescent light if there's even a hint of bluish green in that "birthmark".

Unexplained asterisks. The asterisk: implies a footnote. No footnote, but two asterisks. Myspace. Gotta love the surprises.

Are they seriously going to attempt - again - a feature that notifies fans when their favorite bands are in town? I say "again" because once upon a time, you could search your friends list within a radius when posting an event. Bands could post every show as an event (gulp) - this is in addition to a calendar entry, mind you - and send event invites to users within a reasonable radius that you select. An event invite that they likely ignore, however, or have set to not receive at all. Yeah - I whined when this feature didn't work but sorry fellas, I'm not creating event invites for each show and inviting fans one by one. I love you but...

Back to this new little show notification feature. I tested it. I set the zip code of a friend's profile since I can access one of the band profiles she subscribes to. I then logged into the band profile and added a "testing" show in her zip code.

And now we wait.

So far, it hasn't showed up under her friend updates. Which takes me back to the words Update me when my friends: Add a Show in My Area (Bands)** with those threatening asterisks and no **explanation for the "**" here anywhere. I assume this to then mean either that this feature is in "beta" or perhaps "allow 24 hours for notifications to show up".

Either way, if you're a myspace band, this option can quite easily... screw that... will revolutionize promoting your tours on myspace. Imagine each of your fans getting a memo when they log in "Band added a show: Local Venue in Local City, State on this date". They see this every time they log in. If they love you, they will come.

As a fan, there's no more hoping you don't miss a bulletin announcing updates. No more checking calendars. Wanna see them? Subscribe to them and you'll know when they're in your area.

Can I get a wooo hoooo from anyone who agrees this is finally THE feature myspace bands have needed from the get-go? EVERY band will have to get the word out if it's not officially announced. It IS worth your while to get every fan possible to subscribe to your calendar updates. It also shows why a gig's zip code is of ultimate importance.

Now please, myspace - please - let's see it work effectively. Please?

And to my fellow fans of the profiles you know I tend to or who happen to just have a lot of friends in common with me - prepare yourselves for when this thing works and it explodes into glorious full function. I am emailing every band I care about and announcing this on every profile I access as a blog and several bulletins, with a tutorial on how to enable it since I think it's likely to require the zip to be entered in order to work.

Watch out because this one is going to be very very cool.

Currently listening : Eaten By The Sea By Trevor Tanner Release date: 2008-12-02

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10:51 PM - Part Two - it must have been left here by aliens....
Current mood: triumphant
Category: Life

edit: I just realized this may indeed be one of those observations that Carlin would have appreciated. Something uncommon that shouldn't be. Knowing fully that I'd never come close to the level of cleverness he'd use, this one goes out to George.

A couple of days ago, I spontaneously began short quest that resulted in absolutely nothing but a lot of odd looks. As I said in the boob blog, I'm rockin' the soymilk in my coffee now and have grown past the "testing" phase of buying the smaller sizes; I've moved on to the 1/2 gallon cartons. Of course, I do still keep a smaller 1/4 gallon organic milk in the fridge - not quite ready to try the soymilk on cereal just yet and company may prefer the moo juice.

Ever being the fickle mistress, I give myself two soymilk choices depending on my mood. Lite vanilla, not too sweet - more like nonfat milk with the dash of sugar I'm used to; and lite chocolate, which, as I said in a previous blog, ends up close enough to a Starbucks mocha latte without leaving the house to even think twice about this switch I've made. It's that good. But it's quite sweet and a lot of chocolate to take if you drink more than one cup of coffee in the morning like I do. So the more subtle tasting vanilla is purchased as well.

So now that I no longer keep just one half gallon milk carton, I now need two holders. Granted, the one I use now is that lovely 1970's avocado and likely the same age as I am. We had a second one, I forget the color, as I was growing up and somewhere along the lines it's disappeared. "Huh?" most of you are wondering... "a holder for a milk carton?"

If you're like 70% of the people I asked, the overall concept of this object just so incredibly absurd to you.

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8:02 AM - Part One, goodbye.
Current mood: sad
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

First of all, I want to recognize the passing of George Carlin. I thought I'd always have time to see him, he seemed to always be touring (or doing a show somewhere in LA or Vegas).

This is one that hit me hard this morning. I'm sad to lose this comic legend. Thank you, Mr. Carlin - for the laughs and for the lessons. College wouldn't have been the same without being able to rent a George Carlin standup show at Blockbuster. Now, I'll scour the internet for his famous seven-words rant which shall forever remain on my iPod.

Thank you, Geri, for some of his more memorable morsels, I also added:

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."

"When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?"

"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."

"When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?"

"I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?"

"Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?"

"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

And thanks for crossing that line, Mr. Carlin - you will be greatly missed.

Currently watching : George Carlin - Complaints and Grievances Release date: 2004-09-28

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2:14 PM - boobies!!! (so the boys read it)
Current mood: relieved
Category: Life

I know I've blogged very little lately but I'm also working on another entry regarding my moving after seeing the Sex and the City movie. Hopefully putting in perspective what, combined with my general lack of motivation, is taking me so damn long. But this is timelier. You'll get that one in a couple of days. Sometimes, it requires time to write about certain topics.

Starting this one off by What I Learned Yesterday so it's in two parts: 1) for the fellas. The gals, having male friends, will likely agree and suggest this opportunity to the dudes in their lives. Most things are better with company anyway. Then, part 2) once I'm done with the public service announcement and with fair warning, the boys are excused. Unless they're really really into technology as it pertains specifically to women's health or want to read graphic descriptions of what one, ahem, two of your favorite things must have done to them once they're of a certain age. Stewie Griffin would not want to read about Rupert being tortured now, even if it was for his own good, would he? Exactly.

Poor Dan. In describing it to him I make the comparison "it's like a garden hose versus a cocktail straw up your urethra - which would you choose?" I probably shouldn't have mentioned this. I just kicked all my male readers in the precious now too, didn't I? I'm sorry. But I'm doing the guy part first because I did that to Dan and so... aw never mind. Here we go...

1) When a woman you know goes for a mammogram, Go With Her. Some clever and woman-loving hubbys/boyfriends/faux bros were in the waiting room yesterday. News on the TV, lotsa general interest magazines to pretend to command your attention. These are men who don't mind the idea of a) looking like a hero. "Yeah honey, I'd be happy to drive you to your mammogram" equals "Oh how sweet your boyfriend drove you, lucky girl, having a fella like that!" yadda yadda. Points scored. And you get to spend maybe a half hour in a room dedicated to all that is the woman's breast. If you don't mind your broads 35 and over (we being of the age for the mammo), it's a chick parade. All sorts. And when we're talking The Breast Care Center of The Woman's Pavilion of Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach, California - aren't we talkin' no-brainer? Yes, trophy wives (current and hopeful) with implants need mammos too. Same place. Now if she's foolish enough to make her appointment at some general radiology clinic then let her drive herself. More old men getting hips x-rayed than hot MILFs. If it's a breast or women's care-designated place...  dude... go! This is your chance to see behind the curtain because you can't go to these places alone. Like, ever. Perv. So go when you can.

Another related event that the boys might appreciate; I shared an idea with the receptionist because I happened to see she had a solitaire game going when I checked in. Firstly, you can't wear deodorant on the day of your mammogram. No creams or lotions or perfumes of any kind between the waist and neck as they can interfere with the results. So on my way there, in heat on its way to hitting 90 with no deodorant on, I thought - why don't deodorant companies hand out travel sizes of their products for us to use after a mammogram? What a marketing concept! Like the toothbrush and floss you're given at the dentist (that's what got me to buy only the ribbon, only Oral B Satin and it has to be the ribbon). Why can't there be a basket of travel sized deodorant so that we don't have to 1) bring our own from home like I did or 2) go straight home on a hot day, not exactly feeling fresh enough to make stops after the exam? This concept made the receptionist's chin drop. She thought it was a great idea. The receptionist was going through the hospital directory to find an appropriate person for me to talk to. A head of charitable solicitations of some sort? Their PR person? All major companies want more charitable write-offs. Surely, they'll send cases of samples to somewhere like Hoag and none of the girls who work there will ever have to buy deodorant again. The manager of the BCC of the WP at HH in NB happened to overhear this entire exchange so makes her presence known from behind the wall. She says, pie-eyed, "Don't bother looking for someone else, Melissa. That is an awesome idea! She introduces herself and says she'll make the calls, telling each about this great suggestion from a patient. Mini samples in the robe's pocket for after exams. She then took down my info from the screen. "Heck, you deserve any credit that Proctor and Gamble or whoever gives to anyone presenting them with new ideas. I'll give credit where it's due, Danielle". Yeah, right. That's not the point but if they want to ask me to share more ideas for a price, then fine. We then spend the rest of my own wait time hashing out what they'd look like. Pink caps, since that's the whole charity color, their ribbons and such. Unscented because an employee can get pretty sick of "Powder Fresh" or "Spring Meadow" pretty quick if every patient uses it. Plus you never know what a patient prefers. Then again, hotels don't give you a choice when you need an amenity kit - who cares - it's free. I think I missed my calling. Maybe I'll go back and get a marketing degree. Oh wait. Statistics will be involved. Percentages and pie charts. Never mind. But you have to admit that it's one heck of an idea. Gosh - "Would you like to donate a dollar for a mini deodorant?" would even work. Maybe I should call her back....

Now that's the blog portion being anywhere close to boy-friendly, the suggestion to accompany a woman when she has a mammo at a dedicated facility and my cool idea. You may scroll down to comment if you wish but the male portion of this blog entry has ended. Go to your next blog. You've been fairly warned.

2) Mammograms have changed in the past 5 years! There's nothing that puts me at a particularly higher risk for breast cancer but I got My First Mammogram at 35 anyway since it was offered. "The baseline" I had then, so I knew what to expect yesterday. I had movies lined up, clean sheets and a sandwich ready for an afternoon that I expected to spend sore. Nice timing too there, Danielle. You can't wear deodorant for a mammo. It was expected to hit 100 inland yesterday, and I can't wear deodorant for the 5 minute drive there and while waiting in an air-conditioned waiting room or in the chilly exam room. Woe is me. And the bruising OH the bruising, I'll wear nothing with an underwire and have out for myself a selection of what might feel good to wear when I get home after some Motrin with a valium chaser. Geez, I'll be sore all weekend in this heat. Oh my. The dread. Sigh. Mammogram day  **she places the back of her hand on her forehead and dramatically rolls her eyes**. Woe is me... sniffle.

I should probably mention how that first one was 5 years ago. I may have blogged about it before, but here's the story as concise as I can keep it: I didn't go to The Breast Care Center of the Women's Pavilion of Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach. I went to a general radiology sub-center in a Costa Mesa mini-mall. An angry flat-chested with issues (I'm assuming) tech cranked me into the vise, rolled her eyes and said, "I'm going to need a bigger slide..." **sighs deeply**, "you know you're supposed to tell us if you're above a D cup when you're scheduled, right?" Lefty still in vise and making me wonder if this is what humans would look like with flaps, I respond by mentioning this is my first mammogram and I wasn't asked - so how am I supposed to know to offer the information? She says, "Hang on; I'll go get the bigger slide...you stupid big-boobed whore" (I have a body part stuck in a mammogram machine; I may have heard that last part wrong). She left the room, door ajar (my back facing it, all anyone could see in passing was a naked shoulder, but still...my boob's in a vise...I prayed there'd be no fire). I turned my head and saw an old man walk by with a walker. It wasn't comfortable. What seemed a good ten minutes later, she comes back with a cupcake - half in mouth and says, "Oh My God, I'm so sorry. I went to get the slide and it's one of the techs birthdays...want one?" is the excuse as tiny cake crumbs spurted out of her mouth. No, I want a mammogram and a vicodin and nap, and then maybe, I'll be in a "cupcake mood". Lucky for me, she put the half-cupcake down, freed Lefty and let me breathe and move around a bit as she set it up with this bigger slide and we had the procedure done and over with, my boobs red and obviously unhappy, almost throbbing like a shoulder after being hit by a baseball. And she did feel bad, forgetting to unscrew me before leaving the room. I later promised myself 1) never to look down again during a mammo and 2) never make another appointment there. Oh and with the next day came 3) don't expect to lift anything heavy for a couple of days after your boobs get smooshed to an inch. You get bruised. I don't know about every gal, every size, and every machine that requires a slide. But the after effects of the exam were almost as bad as the experience itself. So to say I was anxious about this next one five years later is putting it mildly.

Yesterday I show up to the Breast Care Center of the Women's Pavilion of Hoag Hospital and now you can see how a place so named is somewhere a man cannot go alone but may enjoy the concept of being in a waiting room full of women there solely to take care of two of every man's favorite things. This is a place where a man kinda has to go either with a woman or not go at all. Hmmm. In the olden days there were places a woman couldn't go alone and now we finally have Breast Care Centers located inside Women's Pavilions of hospitals where it just looks peculiar for a guy be without a woman to escort for too long.

I'm called back into these rows of rooms that seriously resemble the dressing rooms at Neiman Marcus without the mirror that bends out at the sides, just a wall mirror. A sign tells me I need not remove any jewelry whatsoever (not that I'd wear jewelry to a mammogram....?) but to undress from the waist up and put the robe on. I wore one of my shelf-bra tops that actually keep me in without help - in case the "bra" concept was too much to bear afterwards (flashback 5 years). My waffle knit cozy robe had a logo that read "Breast Care Center", "Woman's Pavilion", "Hoag Newport Beach" on it and I considered stealing it for Dan's birthday gift. I'd brought a big purse. I decided against the gag gift and left it in the end. While changing I heard the words, and I kid you not, "anyone want a cupcake? Anne brought them for Liz's birthday!" I gasped - loudly - in the anonymity from behind the changing room door. "No cupcakes at mammograms!!!" I said - they heard me and I had two techs, one mine, wondering what my cupcakes at mammograms issue was. I explained. With the scheduling, pre-registration on the phone and various nurses, techs and people involved in general with the mammo process, I told the story to anyone who would listen, believe me. Mammogram. Cupcakes. Post-traumatic disorder-ish flashbacks.

So picture Dianne Wiest in a straight graying blonde bob. She heard my horror story and assured me that, although I am welcome to have a cupcake after the exam, she certainly won't leave the room at any time during it. "We have new machines at all Hoag facilities that are digital now, no slides needed and I assure you I will not leave the room with you in the machine". This was slightly comforting, as was the fact this would be the woman to spend the next 20 minutes at second base with me. OK now we're talking. Mom-ish and not some young A-cup who likely has saved up for her implants by now.

There were some contortions required of me; I had some trouble - mainly due to the anxiety caused by what I expected this to be like. My muscles were all tightened. Why I did I think I needed to be on my tiptoes? Just after the first photo was done, I asked for a moment as she pressed the button to release me. She asked if I needed to sit down or some water, I said no. I just needed a minute. This dread I've been putting off since my birthday. I told her I needed to shake it off and loosen up and go for more of a rag doll, relaxed posture to make it easier for her to maneuver me into the right positions and properly do her job. She was very understanding and she didn't blame me, considering my prior experience. I loosened up. That first one wasn't so bad. I'm cool. I'm fine.

So the new digital machines? They rock. They still smoosh but nothing close to what I felt last time (I didn't look this time though. I didn't need to see me with flaps again). I've had boyfriends treat them less tenderly, so yes, the "garden hose vs. cocktail straw up the urethra" comparison is pretty much spot-on when comparing my mammo of five years ago to yesterday's. Yes, my size did require a couple of extra pictures (six in all - wait - do I pay extra for those?), but it's digital! Sure, want a couple more shots? I have no plans....

So ladies, if you're putting it off solely due to the discomfort of the exam, don't put it off anymore. Ask your doc (who has to order it) if there's an imaging center they're affiliated with that uses digital mammography machines and not the older, film ones. If you're local and the BCC@ WP@ Hoag is an option with your insurance, GO THERE since it's like a spa. Elsewhere, I'm assuming most places would be using the new ones by now but then again Hoag has always been state-of-the-art and I am kinda happy I had it done here rather than waited and had it done in Tampa. Who knows if they've upgraded yet - but chances are if not now then they will be in 2013 when my next one is due.

I came home yesterday fine, but with a very tidy bedroom with several loungewear ensembles to select from as if I'd return home handicapped or otherwise too impaired to open a drawer or closet door. I didn't change but I did lie down for a bit....then passed out for three hours. I guess the emotional toll, all self-induced, was enough for me to need that prescription-less nap.

As an end note: I've also made the switch to soy milk in my coffee. Now, you always see women "of a certain age" in the soymilk area of the grocery store and I'd grabbed the vanilla at Trader Joe's when I was stopped by one of these women. She looks around and whispers "…don't do it. The only one to use is Silk - any other brand tastes awful" another woman stops her cart, "Did you tell her? Only use Silk, not another brand?", "Yes, I just let her know", "Oh good, yes, don't buy anything else." Well now. These two older women couldn't both be employees of the company that makes Silk soymilk. Both shopping at TJs at the same time. They must be onto something so I put it back and, along with detergent and Diet Coke put Silk soymilk on the "regular supermarket" perma-list. And to those of you who have yet to make the switch (but you will and it really wasn't a tough change) - do NOT use the coffee-flavored thinking it'll just enhance the flavor of the coffee along with doing the job a little milk does. It tastes like feet. I used the regular Vanilla Silk (first the quart, then the half gallon) then saw it came in "Light" so switched to that. But then I discovered sometimes they have the "Light" chocolate. So now, I start my days with what tastes too close to a full-fat Starbucks mocha latte to even consider using anything else.

And that's it for today gang. Hopefully my novel-length entry makes up for my not keeping you all abreast of what's going these days. Yuckity Yuck. But I've been keeping busy lately and that's a good sign I'll soon be a Californian no more! I'm getting there.

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10:46 AM - Danielle wants you to check out a photo on MySpace in the My Photos album.
Current mood: determined
Category: Friends

Wow. Nifty. Now I have to check my settings so no one can blog about one of my photos with two clicks. I'm glad Marc allows it!

This is the new default photo of my friend, bard Marc Gunn. I attempted to leave a photo comment but it turned into something that is indeed blog worthy and I'll just link to him, click the photo for his myspace profile. So I present to you the photo in question, perhaps The Greatest Photo Ever.

Currently listening : Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers By Marc Gunn The Dubliners' Tabby Cats Release date: 2006-03-01

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2:33 PM - the annoyances of the myspace "app"
Current mood: apathetic
Category: MySpace

Now, I am pretty locked down when it comes to comments and such, but I've seen enough bulletins to know some of you might be having issues with comments automatically applied by "apps". "Apps" acquired directly from myspace that post comments on a user's behalf. Huh? They used to call these bots and treat such behavior as spam... and now they encourage this?

Had they not come from a myspace-sanctioned application, they would be considered spam comments!

Hmmm.

SO, if you haven't taken my earlier tip to require captcha on all comments (bots no likey captcha), go to account settings -> SPAM -> scroll down to the "comments" section and check the little boxie that reads "require CAPTCHA on all comments". Yes, it's a little bit inconvenient to your commenter. But worth it unless you like boobies on your comments that lead to sites that make you post boobies on your friend comments and then it turns into a 1984 Faberge Organics Shampoo commercial gone bad ("I told two friends and they told two friends... and so on... and so on....")

One of the online loves of my life/sources of my secrets of myspace, Joyboner! suggested this to those of you who refuse to require CAPTCHA:


I don't know about you but I could care less about how much my friends are "WORTH", or a virtual pet that some stranger bought me, or the notification comment that apparently someone has obtained my soul and now "owns me". Or anything else that Myspace has ripped off from Facebook… So today I was playing around in my account settings and discovered that there IS a way to block all that crap from spamming your comments.

Simply go to your account settings, then Applications.

When you've arrived at this settings page, scroll down a bit to the "Application Privacy" section and CHECK "Don't share any data."

Right below that, there is a "Application Communication Settings" section with a checkbox. UN-CHECK the box that says "Allow applications to send me messages and comments".

There ya go!


So there YOU go.

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10:08 AM - ... and he lived in Tampa too
Current mood: sad
Category: Art and Photography

Tampa needs a new genius now, I guess. Don't worry, Tampa - I'm coming.;-)
Pop artist Robert Rauschenberg dies in Fla. at 82

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9:12 AM - Go ARMY!
Current mood: numb
Category: Life

So when you have crap to donate, who do you think of? Goodwill and Salvation Army, right? They used to be interchangable. Never made much of a difference, they both do the same thing.

Not anymore.

I have stuff to unload. Big stuff I can't carry myself, especially down the stairs.

I open the phone book to the page that lists numbers for Goodwill. Local call - Santa Ana - I call and get their phonebot. "Goodwill industries appreciates your call. If you know your party's extension, please enter it now. For your nearest drop-off location, please press one," etc, etc. Hang on. No "for pickup, please press" something? I keep listening to the options for two, three, four - then at the very end of the message "Goodwill no longer offers at-home pickup. Please press one for the nearest dropoff location." WHAT?!

You must be kidding me. Ladies and Gentlemen, Goodwill no longer picks up at your home. Now how the hell am I supposed to get this old Ikea coffee table into my car (Dan's pickup brought it here)? My trunk is full of several thousand dollars worth of Manolo Blahniks and Jimmy Choos I don't want anymore (bought at such a discount, I'll likely profit from consigning them anyway and some Newport Beach lady with size 10 feet will have Christmas in May when she finds them), I'm supposed to get my butt to the consignor offering the best deal before loading up with bags of clothes to drop off? I'm calling around - I want the most generous consignor.

Are they nuts by discontinuing pickup service in one of the most affluent cities in the country?

 I then called the Salvation Army. They still pick up. They want my heavy stuff. She told me the have indeed experienced considerable growth since Goodwill stopped their pickup service and that my timing is perfect. As a result of their business increasing disproportionately, they've been able to hire more hard-to-hire workers (Dan, can you come hang out while they're here?), upgrade and add to their fleet of trucks, etc. She said Goodwill's decision to stop picking up was the best thing to happen to the Salvation Army in a very long time.

Plus, Salvation Army has a toll free number.

And on the opposite end, as a shopper, if you're also a treasure-seeker by nature like myself, whose shop are you going to visit? The Goodwill where all items have been dropped off by people with the time and means to do so? Or Salvation Army stores where old ladies who just want to de-clutter and purge and don't care about value just want a truck to conveniently come by and pick up their crap?

Whoever works in marketing for Goodwill needs to be fired.

Relevant site:
http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn/www_usn_2.nsf
Irrelevant site:
http://www.goodwill.org/page/guest/about

Go Army! No more "Badwill" thanks.

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8:15 AM - a tragic Friday night.
Current mood: crushed
Category: Pets and Animals

Words escape me. I can't describe what I discovered this morning.

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2:28 PM - what eggs turn into...
Current mood: jubilant
Category: Pets and Animals

I had just returned from the pet store today where I picked up one of those pole feeders and some seed, trying to make life as convenient as possible for mama bird as long as she chose my porch to birth the babies. I'd been checking every couple of days - I looked yesterday (once again forgetting my own rule when going to get the mail - scaring mama away then taking the opportunity to check in) and the eggs looked fine. All was well.

I'd been putting off going to the pet store, trying all sorts of household grains that she wasn't interested in. She deserves better than a half-assed attempt at providing for her comfort, so it just so happens that today I finally got my butt over to Petco for some proper wild birdseed specialized for sparrows. Says so on the label, anyway.

So I prepare the feeder, sloooowwwwly open the front door so as not to scare mama away (although who am I kidding? She bails when the door opens no matter how fast or slow). Well now, looks like mom's on an errand. Good timing. I bring in the pathetic attempt at a homemade bird buffet that I had out on a stepladder and put up the feeder. I then peek. No eggs. Huh? I peek in a little closer and something moved in the darkness. No. Way. Maybe?

I nearly fell off the stepladder running to get the camera. I pushed my arm up above the nest as I stood on the ladder and just let the camera do its job - get a better, closer look than I ever could without having to put my human stank all over the bush. And this, ladies and gents, is, God willing, what eggs turn into:

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3:27 PM - 16 years
Current mood: luminous
Category: Life

Finally got around to getting the passport renewed and am a little sickened to realize that I have not needed a passport since this one expired in 2002. I have promised myself this is going to change once London is close enough for a weekend jaunt once I move. It shall be stamped Gatwick (or Heathrow if that's my only convenient choice from Tampa) by the end of this year. Perhaps Frankfurt as well.

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1:47 AM - this is for the birds!!
Current mood: fascinated
Category: Pets and Animals

So in the early hours of the morning, I have a return visitor.

I believe it's either another male bird making the same mistake - as I noted in my last blog - thinking the reflection in the window meant "more trees to 'do it' in".

This time, he indulged me with the honor of allowing me to snap his photograph. I wish they came out better, but being only half awake and having to lean over boxes to get to his window of choice makes for a challenging shot. So this, ladies and gentlemen, has been my alarm clock for the past few mornings.

The red arrow is my front door jamb as you walk out of my house. The orange arrow is where the nest is. The blue arrow is the sign for anyone who comes close asking them to please, stop there and come no further unless it's an emergency since my column has been deemed appropriate for a sparrow nursery.

Now from a different perspective. The red arrow is again the door jamb from the walkway outside. Orange arrow, the nest. Blue arrow, my signs. One in English, another in Spanish asking the gardeners to skip this area until the signs are gone due to my little nesting pajaros.

What's all the fuss about?? I selected two photos of the nest to share. Because you can't see too many birdnests with eggs in your lifetime.

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11:05 AM - still here....
Current mood: tired
Category: Life

It's been far too long since I've blogged. Sorry. Just haven't had much interesting going on around these parts. Plus, I'm in the process of getting the real blog up and running. Yes, I have a domain. Yes, I have it all set up to forward to a wordpress blog. It's just getting used to that interface and exploring the features that I've yet to do. I also don't want to officially announce it until I have my logo. I need to compose the sweet, sucking up email to every artist friend I have to see if they can draw me a gal. I don't want pinup sexpot cartoon. I'd prefer cutely sexy - without giving away details. Hmm. Maybe my pal WILX can scribble something for me - the guy who did that one caricature of me in My Photos. Andy, you readin' this? I have bribes... ;-)

Anyway, I mention nothing interesting has been going on but I guess I can say something peculiar occurred last week. I was driving home from the store when I saw people in the street a couple doors down from my complex. I slow down to see a turkey cross the street in front of me. Nope, this isn't a joke. A real, live turkey.

I let him cross, ask the onlookers if Animal Control has been called, they say yes, so I pull into my garage and proceed to join the turkey tenders. Poor choice of word. Turkey minders.

As it turns out, about a half mile down the street we have a doctor who has a small turkey.... collection.... in his yard. I've lived here eight years and I am just now seeing an escaped turkey? I guess this doctor is a bit of redneck, hunter-type of fellow. Which is odd enough for Newport, but okay. Animal Control, when they arrived, know him well - so they called his office and told him about his escaped turkey. Critter was freaked - not only is it breeding time (he was just out looking for nookie - can't blame him - he's likely had his choice of kin for long enough and went out to find someone new to mix it up a bit...) but he'd come quite a long way. We had crackers, bread, nuts - everyone who saw the commotion had their own ideas about what turkeys eat.

The good doctor took his sweet old time and I had an appointment to go to, so I had to leave after tending to him for a couple of hours and chasing him from street to street, block to block. But various peeps in the neighborhood took their shifts watching him, making sure he stayed out of the street. I assume he's safely home by now.

Living by the Back Bay, which is a conservation area, we get all sorts of critters around here. I've blogged about the "pony" (aka huge opossum) in my yard. I've seen coyotes feasting the night before trash day. Racoons and red-tailed hawks are as common as seagulls and ducks here. But a turkey? That was a new one. So here's our adventurous turkey. I didn't hear one "gobble", mind you. He kind of made a chirpy clucking sound. Then again, it's that time of year. He was making sounds of sweet lovin' - maybe they only gobble when they're hungry.

Taken with my camera phone, that last one really doesn't suck coming from a phone, does it?

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10:16 PM - its gots them pictures!
Current mood: cooky/wacky
Category: Quiz/Survey

Thanks to Tandi. This is one of the cooler surveys I've seen so I am doing it!

I was going to write about the horny wittle birds waking me at 6am the past coupla mornings. Hello, springtime! The bright yellow male pecks away at what I assume he thinks are more trees but really just the reflection of them in my window. Peck... peck peck....peck....flutter.... (dammit!)...peck...peck peck....peck....flutter...(dammit!). His less vivid lady friend just sits on a branch and watches him. I think I saw her eyes roll - "Honey - it's a reflection. In a window. Could we just do it here, please?" I can't think of a funnier, more adorable and rather romantic thing to wake up to, really.

So now on with the survey because you'll wanna do it too.

1. Go to photobucket.com
2. Type your answer in the search bar
3. Use a picture from the FIRST page only!
4. Copy and paste the html (websites and blogs) here
5. Have FUN!!

1. What's your first name? - Do it. Type Danielle. No, it's not me. Geez.



2. What is your relationship status? - Yes, I put "spinster". Don't send me this.



3. What is your favorite color? Blue phallus?



4. What band are you listening to right now? - This exact photo also comes up when you type "best myspace profile" in the search box.



5. What is your favorite movie? - Do you really think I'm telling now?



6. Name a beverage? Yay dairy!



7. Where is your dream vacation? Can I get him to show me around?



8. What do you want to do when you grow up? Personify Ducky as if it were cool to or sleep in a library and have lame friends? You guessed it, I want to wear a snazzy yellow parka.



9. What do you love most in life? - Yep. His bangs.



10. I was born in: Watch and learn, Florida!



11. My eye color is: These girls are very enthusiastic about my eye color.



12. My birthday month is: I'm thinkin' these lucky kids got hitched last month... in St. Louis.



13. What's your favorite TV show?(s)? If I used the poster, it wouldn't be fun!



14. What's your favorite accessory? Mmmkay, I could rock the squid...



15. One word to describe yourself? Not Philipina...



16. How old will you be on your next birthday? It's official: I'm turning hopeless next year.



17. Favorite food? Yes, eggs washed down with a 1998 Beaujolais. As I am slipped a room key card on a Hallmark holiday.



18. Town you were RAISED in? Word.



20. your middle name? No, I don't think Elizabeth wants to dance.



21. How do you feel? Like messin' with Texas!(?)



22. Last words?

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11:31 AM - ... and they say I rant too much or too well?
Current mood: amused
Category: News and Politics

Waa. I can't embed this.

Oh well, click on it. I aspire to this.

http://www.dotsub.com/films/moredemands/index.php?autostart=true&language_setting=en_1618

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