I’m in Jeopardy

Sorry I haven't blogged in while. Life is a little crazy right now. Jennifer's Body is going amazing. My writing is going great. Should be done with the next script soon. More importantly, I just did a commentary for the season 4 DVD of The Office. So cool to see those guys again. It was kind of a commentary in the round with a table of microphones and TV's all facing out and the cast and writers sitting around.

Two things that are currently blowing my mind...

1. Last night I was a quesiton on Jeopardy - Are you fucking kidding me?

2. A couple weeks ago, I wrote and directed some sketches on SNL, called Death by Chocolate.

Both links are on my profile page.

I'll try to write more soon.

Juno got four MTV Movie Award Nominations! Cast your votes now!

4:09 PM - 23 Comments - 38 Kudos - Add Comment

Brutal Interview

These kids came with their claws out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLomwdtXUSs

8:23 PM - 25 Comments - 43 Kudos - Add Comment

Holy Shit

I know everyone is surprised, but take my word no one is as surprised as me. I woke up that morning to hear Diablo and Ellen's names read aloud. By the time they got to directors, all I kept thinking was, can we please get to Picture already... and then my name popped up and my heart just stopped. My wife started crying. My father called me up and couldn't finish a sentence he was so moved.

I was up at Sundance. My wife and I were screaming so much that the guy next door came over and asked if we had just sold our film in the festival.

When I was twelve years old, I remember asking my father, why don't you ever go to the Oscars? He told me that he would go when he got nominated. For some reason, at that young age, I had the chutzpa to ask - What if I get nominated? Will you come then. He smiled and said yes. I guess we're both going tux shopping.

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging. This has been a crazy time between finishing Juno and beginning "Jennifer's Body". I just got back from Sundance where I was on the shorts jury and played in a celebrity/pro hockey game (not quite sure where I fit in there). I saw an incredible documentary called "American Teen". It's a must see.

Tomorrow night, I'm going to introduce a screening of "Election" - one of the films that made me want to be a director and of course influenced how I approached "Juno".

5:43 PM - 50 Comments - 86 Kudos - Add Comment

Colin, Paris, Pam & Tommy; A Cinematic Exploration of the Celebrity Sex Tape

My early Christmas present to all of you.

Colin, Paris, Pam & Tommy; A Cinematic Exploration of the Celebrity Sex Tape

Okay, this might get a little explicit. More so than might be expected from a film director's blog… Other than of course Oliver Stone's blog. That said, you've been warned.

The first time I heard about the Pam and Tommy tape, my mind was simply floored. The idea seemed impossible. Porno was reserved for those anonymous faces that couldn't exist in reality. They almost belonged to another universe. Pam & Tommy were from my world. While they were celebrities, the constant access to their life and familiarity with their faces made them almost seem like acquaintances. The idea of seeming them in the act was unthinkable and at the same time alluring beyond any comparison.

Why is celebrity porn kosher? When it first came out, I made a copy of the Pam & Tommy tape for my then-girlfriend's father. The first time I saw the Paris video was at a friend's house in the company of a dozen people. My wife got a copy of the Colin Ferrell video via e-mail from a casual acquaintance. Why is this? Does the celebrity-factor legitimize it? Either way, I feel enough people have seen one or all of these films that they deserve proper critical analysis into their craft, tone, and artistic value as cinema.

The plots of the three films are as follows:

Pam & Tommy – A pastiche of glimpses into the life of a newlywed affluent couple. Jaunts on a sailboat, a highway rendezvous, and kitchen mishaps all frame the early days of romance when everything is a discovery. Think – Michael Winterbottom

"One Night in Paris" – A one-act Pinteresque evening with a reprobate and a lithe hotel-heiress told mostly in first person. Plot centers around the discovery of a video camera and its various uses. Excessive use of night vision plays up the voyeuristic quality. Think – Blair Witch Project

Collin Ferrell Tape – A short film that was unfortunately shot while Ferrell was doing the movie Daredevil and thus sporting a shaved head, makes the sex with him and an African-American woman seem almost like the exercise of a self-hating skin-head. Oddly aware of the porn genre and bordering on pornographic satire, this falls into the "so bad it's good" category. Think – Big Trouble in Little China.

I'm going to work from worst to best.

Collin Ferrel Short Film - The poorest of these films is sadly the Collin Ferrell tape. This is mostly due to the fact that it almost seems as though it were intended for public viewing. I say this because it seems like a "production". There are angles, edits, and worst of all… Acting. And this is to say bad acting. One would think that Collin Ferrell, star of Stephen Spielberg's Minority Report and Terrence Malick's The New World would at least offer a hint of naturalism. Instead, he is all over the place. Halfway between a bad actor's showcase and Spectravision. At one point, he pauses from going down on his co-star to look up into camera and say (and I quote), "This is Breakfast, Lunch, and fucking Dinner."

Yup.


Some people shouldn't improvise and it seems Mr. Ferrell falls into this category. Seriously, who says that? It's just crass, awful, and worst of all… hideously performed. I didn't believe him for a second. Every moment of this film seemed performed. Sexual positions seemed outside the realm of passion and simply there to fulfill camera angles. It was shockingly similar to normal porn without any of the ingenuity of someone like Ferrell who has shared the set with guys like Janusz Kaminski and Emmanuel Lubezki.

One Night in Paris - Just for sake of comparison, the production value of Paris is simply in another category from Ferrell. The camera work is steady. The visual ideas are concrete, clear and imaginative. The sense of voyeurism is very real. Take away the night vision that many criticize as "gimmicky" and you still truly feel like a fly on the wall of their hotel room. Here is a girl who has lived her entire post-pubescent life in front of the camera. And yet, when she notices that she is being filmed getting dressed, she seems legitimately shocked.


Unlike the Ferrell film, the sex at the end of the day is sexy. It's the kind of sex you would imagine in a perfume ad. They should almost license scenes to Calvin Klein. Mark my words, when America finally adopts the Swedish TV ratings system, you will see that commercial. It will open on Paris in the guy's crotch and end with "Thirst by CK."

That said, this is the most depressing pornographic film ever shot. A girl so desperate for love that she allowed a dreg of a human being to video tape her as she felates him. The posturing you see her doing on the red carpet is finally revealed not to be an act, but rather the constant state of a girl who seems to be in a constant depression. There are honestly moments when you can't help think, I had no idea feigning ennui could be done with a full mouth.
The Pam & Tommy Tape - Truffaut. Godard. Neo-Realism. Whimsy. Joy. A sense of magic. Everything the French New Wave promised came to fruition with Pam & Tommy. Sex has never been filmed so naturally. Unlike the two preceding films in which the actors are posturing for the camera, here we see a couple whose lens awareness might as well be blind, despite the fact that they are actually operating the camera.

Moments like Tommy honking the car horn with his penis or Tommy piloting the boat with his penis are so odd and inventive that if you read them in a script, you would never buy them. However the tonal control of the filmmakers is so strong that you don't cast doubt for a heartbeat.

The previous films are about an act. The Pam & Tommy tape is about love - The first moments of love in which your heart beats so damn strong, you can't take it. You get to the end and want to watch endless episodes or sequels. Watch them take Tin-Tin-like adventures into the Congo, the Bermuda Triangle, or Space!

If there is any justice in this world, Pam and Tommy will find their way into the vault along side the Moon Walking and the Zapruder Tape.

1:36 PM - 16 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment

Attica

The other night, I'm having dinner at Mozza (note: not the best pizza in Los Angeles. People have been suckered by the hype. It's an okay pizza. I can give you five places that wipe the floor with Mozza… but that's where the story takes place). I'm having dinner with my agent Jeff and our wives.

I excuse myself to use the washroom. The door of which is a little shaky. It locks… but barely. I'm presuming it will hold. I begin my business, when the door opens and the guy isn't even looking in yet… he's talking to his date with the door wide open to the restaurant. I tell him, "Hey buddy, shut the door." Doesn't hear me. "Hey, close the door!" Doesn't hear me… I reach over, grab the door, and yank it closed.

Now all I hear is his date laughing loudly. Great. I go over and wash my hands. Stare myself down in the mirror and prepare to face the music. I step outside and find the guy and his girlfriend blushing and suppressing laughter.

I say, "Hope I didn't ruin your dinner"

The guy looks at me says, "I just wanted to tell you, I loved Juno."

That's the second best thing I heard last week. Earlier that day, I got invited to a crazy luncheon with Warren Beatty, Oliver Stone, Frank Pierson, and Laura Ziskin. At one point while they were discussing how no one appreciates history anymore, Stone turned to Pierson and asked, "Frank, do you remember Attica?"

If you don't get this, look it up. It's fucking hilarious. Genius. It's like me asking Oliver Stone if he remembers Vietnam.

11:58 PM - 9 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Golden

Woke up this morning and watched as they announced the nominations. It was great since Ellen was on the Today show doing an interview when they cut away to the live broadcast. Quentin (an apparent Juno fan – seen it twice) raised his fist when he read Diablo's name for best screenplay. All told, what an awesome morning. When Ellen got back to the hotel, I gave her a big hug.
As a little celebration, please find below some fun clips I've been sent recently
Great review of Juno by an older couple
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZPF7DdVrwI
Ellen and Michael sing a song about me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKNV3AU0-Eo&feature=related
Me and this guy named the whale
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqE7R_J8VVs&feature=related
Someone recut the trailer of Thank You For Smoking using manga cartoons – awesome!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fczv-SIgf6w
Oh… and someone asked recently why I only fly United. This is a longer conversation, but it comes down to two things.
I am brand loyal like CRAZY. Coke not Pepsi. Nike not Reebok. Mann Village not the Grauman's Chinese. I would rather walk than fly American Airlines, or God forbid Northwest or shutter-to-think Southwest.
I have built up enough status on United, that I upgrade every time and am treated really well. Seriously, my current membership gives me a phone number without an automated machine. I just call and someone picks up the phone and solves all my problems.
Oh Yeah... Juno Soundtrack is up on iTunes. Check it out.

4:08 PM - 11 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

Big Shit

This has been my last week on the road. It started off in Dallas. Fun screening at the Magnolia Theater. They apparently had to turn away 170 people. Sorry guys. Hope it's worth the wait when you finally see the film. After the screening I signed a bunch of postcards and t-shirts. A group of students drove all the way from Waco. Love those kids.

Next day brought Good Morning Texas, Pugs & Kelly (one of my favorite stops on the tour – they invited me to judge a MILF contest, but alas I couldn't make it), and Big Dick Hunter's Wild Ass Circus Show… yup. Big Dick ended up being quite normal and nice. He asked me for acting advice for an upcoming role.

I was back in LA with just enough to time to drive up to Santa Barbara for a screening. Then back down to LA and a flight to Philadelphia.

Diablo and I reunited in Philly. It's way more fun with her there. We signed a kid's pair of shoes after the screening. We started the morning with FM Talk, moved into AM Talk, then ended at NPR. It was an exercise in slowly improving your vocabulary.

The next day I flew to Detroit. Had a stop over because I refuse to fly anything but United. I'm sitting at a two top table with producer Dan in Ohare airport. Dan keeps on leaving to check our flight and such. Every time he leaves, a stream of people come up and ask for his chair. One guy just started dragging it off and I had to stop him. Weather was bad and the place was getting packed. At one point, while Dan was away, an older Eastern European guy walked back up steaming and pointed to the empty chair with venom.

"So, this is your friend?! Huh?! You are a… (Searching for the right words)… BIG SHIT!"

The whole place went quiet. The guys stormed off. When Dan got back to the table, I walked back over to my new friend and pointed out Dan sitting in his chair. "That's my friend". He grunted.

Fifteen minutes later, he sulks back up to our table. "I want to apologize. Recently, I am under stress." Nods. Leaves.

This is my favorite experience on the press tour thus far.

I landed in Detroit too late and missed the Q&A. Diablo and I did our day of press and then parted ways. She has a screening in Minneapolis. I have one in NY. The tour is over and I can't help feel a little heart broken. Now it's time for the movie to come out.
But first, tomorrow morning, the golden globe nominations will be announced. Fingers crossed.

4:07 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Premiere

Talk about a dream come true. I have been going to the Mann Village in Westwood since I was a kid. I've waited outside that building for movies so many times, I couldn't even begin to list the films. I still have the stubs to prove it. So, when I heard Juno was going to premiere there, I was simply overcome with emotion. Even stuffed the ticket stubs in my jacket pocket so I could show the audience.
The film played rowdier than a normal gala. People really got into it. I made mutual dreams come true by introducing Ellen Page to Sarah Silverman. Jack Black was apparently there. Megan Fox from my new film, Jennifer's Body, that I'm doing with Diablo Cody came by and apparently looked hot. My new buddy/fellow-french-bulldog-owner Jason Schwartzman was also there. But the greatest guest made a very special appearance after the show.
I had told everyone to remain in their seats, and miraculously they did. It was then my great pleasure to introduce together on stage for the first time in years, THE MOLDY PEACHES!
Made a video of it and just posted it on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BowmW12yrpw

4:05 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Bare Back

Diablo was in my hotel room yesterday, thumbing through my blog, when she found out that I initially write my blog into Word then copy and paste it into the website. She frowned and explained that real blogging is done directly into the website... "Go Bareback!" she exclaimed as she gave me a look like as though she just caught me polishing a silver tea set. So here I am... going bareback... writing directly into the body of the blog without protection.
Yesterday morning, I watched live on the IFC website as they announced the independent spirit nominations. Juno got four! I can't tell you how cool that was. Seeing so many people honored from the film. Last year, I couldn't make it to the award show when I won for Smoking, because I was in Vancouver shooting Juno. This year, I plan on attending.
Then, last night Ellen won the award for best breakthrough performance at the Gotham awards. It was such a cool night. Ran into everybody from Mary Harron (one of my favorite directors) to Laura Linney to a girl I went to high school with. Ellen was so good up on stage. She is a rock star.
Highlight of last night was seeing Roger Ebert. He got the lifetime achievement award and was given a standing ovation. I ran into him afterwards and he pulled out his pad/pen to write me a note: My interview with him is being published in this Sunday's paper! I'm buying a hundred copies.
I'm off to tape ABC's Popcorn with Peter Travers. I know this is crazy, but I always pictured Travers with long hair... something about the Rolling Stones thing. I just pictured him one very specific way. Then, I met him last night and he had short hair and a mustache. I don't know why, but this took me totally off guard.

9:16 PM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Lavatory Libations

Okay, help me out with this one. During my tour of Juno screenings, I went to use the washroom in a movie theater and made the oddest discovery. Just so I've set the location perfectly – This is a multi-level Cineplex located inside an upscale downtown mall. It's a nice place. It's a Monday night. And yet there is an empty glass jug of wine sitting on the toilet in one stall… and an empty mini-bottle of gin sitting on the floor of the neighboring stall. Is this some sort of alcoholic glory hole that I'm unaware of? Are people boozing it up for Beowulf? Presumably, the movie theater is just as good a location to get ripped as the lavatory. Unless… oh wait, it just hit me. Kids are filling their soda fountain cups with cheap booze in the bathroom before entering the theater armed and ready… Wow. Coming from a guy whose first kiss was in a movie theater ("Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead"), I am heartbroken that the classic make-out session in the back row has become a threesome with Carlo Rossi.

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