Today.

I hold the dust in my hand that stole my heart and my soul, but they're mine today.
I found my voice today.

What use to glitter with light, and all those colors so bright is not right today.
It does not shine today.

The blood starts to flow, and my heart starts to glow... I can feel today.
I can love today.

I take a look in the past, to face the truth at last...it was my mistake.
I put my soul at stake.

9:49 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

business as usual

A celebration to use
The lack of power to choose
Submission to the human condition
Can equate to a lack of volition
And so the circle is complete
Bad decisions start to repeat
Normalcy is blurred to habit
The thirst for pleasure is rabid

10:55 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

just call me DOCTOR

With both hands
I manipulate

With both eyes
I deny

With both feet
I hold myself fast

With both ears
I distort

This reality I create. This illusion I sell. Pure moments are rare, but manufactured dreams can be plenty. Wish into my sea of imagination and I shall form what your heart desires. I can make you beautiful. Your words will be of interest to many. People will want to be you. Souls will gravitate to your presence like the moon follows the earth. Do not be afraid. Fear only attracts fear. So place your hand in mine and trust in what you see. Trust in desire, in pleasure. The space between your ears and behind your eyes is of no importance. Not with the correct image…illusion. Do not waste your time on knowing yourself; rather, know what others want from you. Only then can you successfully obtain the pleasures you seek. And please… call me Doctor.

Currently listening : Lateralus By Tool Release date: 15 May, 2001

8:53 PM - 3 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment

i may not be smarter... but you are, dumber

i believe one of the most humbling experiences we all must endure is realizing that we are not as intelligent as we think we are.


for some reason the events of my realization crawled their way into my concious mind the other day. bummer.

4:08 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Contemplating escape in a cage of responsibility.

Contemplating escape in a cage of responsibility.
I chew my arm just to see blood run through the bars.
At least some piece of me got through.
Sunlight tickles a bit of excitement within as memories of
Costa Rica embrace me with old feelings of freedom and adventure.
There are times when I wish I was one of those sick fucks who got a hard
On after adding an extra penny into their bank account.
I think that would make work a bit more enjoyable.
But alas, I get my jollies from seeing new places, getting fucked up on any little treats I can get my hands on.. and well.. my girlfriend (Jess makes life bearable).
Damn normalcy.
So I wait for the next exciting thing that is geographically local.
A concert, a beer festival, Vegas.
The end.

11:52 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I feel the need.

There's a place in my heart where my mind can't go
Its guarded by memories of passion and instances of small deaths
I go there when I can't think
And feel what I cant explain
Logic's been trying to enter
And reason almost picked the lock
There's a place in my mind where my heart cant go
Love and fear wither in its presence
And I go there when I want to be numb
What other way can one explain the world around them?
Afterall.. aren't all emotions simply chemical equations?
Is God nothing more than the most comforting form of hope?

2:57 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

inspiration?

It is a beast I cannot control nor challenge.
It is a blessing that allows me to share.
Within the forests of fantasy and oceans of dreams it lives.
It knows my fears.
It has a constant dialogue with my heart.
When I was younger I nurtured it without knowing.
I read it books by Tolken and listened to Zeppelin in its company.
The first time I made love it congratulated me with the gift of remembrance.
My first heartbreak was no different.
I often wonder how I will live without its presence like a child waiting for his mother to die.
If only one had control over such things.
The Greeks wished the same and even told stories of capturing its personification.
I am no different.
I continue to dream, to feel, to hope, to love, and to hate.
These are the nourishments it demands.
It needs.
I need.

1:37 AM - 2 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

no use crying over spilled ink

And there I sat with my blank canvas. A palette of endless colors at my disposal; each signifying a new decision, a new fate. I began to draw randomly choosing my colors at first until I began to focus on what I wanted to create. What I wanted to create? What I should create? An image finally took shape after quite some time. Rather, the image created itself. Is there no image? Regardless, ink has been spilled on the canvas disrupting its tale. Adding to its tale? One never knows. New colors are present, a mixture of many. What do I see now?

10:30 PM - 5 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Focused with a tunnel vision on beauty.

Focused with a tunnel vision on beauty.
It is unattainably attainable
I want to touch it
I want to taste it
I want its scent to overpower my own
It mocks me day after day
I can hear it breath heavily in my ear
I reach with all that is Me
I pray to all gods
I bribe my dreams
I curse my soul
What good is beauty of I cannot internalize it
It is mine
I have stolen it
I hold it captive until it is Me
I, am beautiful
I feel beauty radiate from within and out
I am beauty
I am without equal
...
Ugliness has conquered
I am ugly
And now I know
I was beautiful until I lusted for beauty

11:19 PM - 9 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment

the same rouge lover the same old fiend

Boring days and bloody nights
You never seem to pass a fight
You feel the ache you love the pain
It always seems to end in vain

A kiss is thrown a lip is bit
You tear the skin and crack the wip
A constant struggle to say on top
Will this game ever stop

Endless drinks and new pills
Youre a sucker for cheap thrills
You say your numb, you know you feel
You cant deny that pain is real

A new attraction will quench the thirst
As long as they know that you..re always first
Old theatrics in new scenes
The same rouge lover the same old fiend

Currently listening : Black Market Music By Placebo Release date: 08 May, 2001

1:31 AM - 5 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment